Jus when i thought my blog is so dead, you drop by and visit me. smiles.... No more project no more burn midnight oil and sleepless night for days. So happy....
Have been studying for my paper lately. 2 papers to go and i am done with Uni!!!! So happy... Now i have to face another challenge of my life!!! What should i do, what should i work as. i dunno what kind of job i am interested. hmm... for a moment i wanna do marketing, other moment i wanna try sales, accounts??? i wanna try sth interesting... i want challenging job, but what is challenging..
i am just like a frog in the well... i noe nuts about what is happening in the maket... what kinds of job are there except for those common one. how??? sob.....
Like to collect free bear bear... Esp those Wedding bears that were given as souvenir to the guest. SMiles... It is just the beginning more will come...This year there are another few more weddings... Smiles... Which mean i will have more Bears...
Like This Two the most... They look so adorable.... Smiles Yeah They are all Free....
See how sweet the female bear bear is smiling....
i am scared.... i dunno whether i am doing the right thing. i tell myself not to... but i cant control myself... i cant make myself stop thinking about it.... my project deadline i set for myself is due soon.... i don wanna drag it further... but i jus cant stop thinking.... i really wanna study... i really wanna concentrate.... but i cant... too big a temptation.... i jus cant prevent myself from jumping in... i wish to islolate myself from it.... but i cant.... everytime i on the com, the first thing i wanna do is to open it.... Sob... i feel terrible....
Maybe mum is right... Although I keep denying, although I don't want to acknowledge it, I still have to face it.
I seldom turn to the blog unless I am really lonely... but after second tots I think I am not lonely. I refuse to let ppl in. I wan to isolate myself. Erm no.... Maybe that's not true. I can't get hold of what is going through my mind. I am confused. I am lost.
I tot I want something but after sometime, the strong feeling disappear. I tot I make my stand, I tot I already decide the course of action, I tot I convince myself. But why am I haunted by the same set of questions over and over again.
I am easily swayed by what other say, I don't have my own stand.... I wan to do everything. I want to try everything.
I nv put in 100%.... I dunno what it is like to put in 100%. I am so dependent on others. I dunno what it is like to be alone. To do thing alone? to take care of myself? I am alws in my comfort zone. Under the protection of my family, under the protection of my sister, under the protection of my friends, I am nv gonna learn…. I wan to fly…. But I fear I will drop….
I tot I like…. But I dunno…. I tot I will leave…. But I cant… I tot I found it…. The feeling issnt strong….
I hate to make decision regarding my own life. I hate to do things alone. I hate to face the com alone.
Cable ski is damn fun. Drank a little water, Ski a little and swim alot. It was a good sport that exercise the whole body. Did manage to stand on the board n ski, but didnt manage to get any pic of it. 
cousin n sistaSo happy.... so tiring... was busy with my da jie wedding. it is finally over. so much fun disturbing my bro-in-law esp at the gate crash. some photos to share. smiles
sistas n aunt
sistas, cousin n jan
my sistas n nephew
my shorty boi boi
haha real height (w/o heels)
it was quite an interesting Day for moi!!! spend one third of the day sleeping, one third teaching tuition and the rest playing indian poker. It is always fun to hang out with them!!!! Hmm... smiles
Ah Jiao
21th Sep 1985
21
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