[[*---You Put Me Aside---*]]

Friday, March 28, 2008

+Confused.+

Maybe mum is right... Although I keep denying, although I don't want to acknowledge it, I still have to face it.

I seldom turn to the blog unless I am really lonely... but after second tots I think I am not lonely. I refuse to let ppl in. I wan to isolate myself. Erm no.... Maybe that's not true. I can't get hold of what is going through my mind. I am confused. I am lost.

I tot I want something but after sometime, the strong feeling disappear. I tot I make my stand, I tot I already decide the course of action, I tot I convince myself. But why am I haunted by the same set of questions over and over again.

I am easily swayed by what other say, I don't have my own stand.... I wan to do everything. I want to try everything.

I nv put in 100%.... I dunno what it is like to put in 100%. I am so dependent on others. I dunno what it is like to be alone. To do thing alone? to take care of myself? I am alws in my comfort zone. Under the protection of my family, under the protection of my sister, under the protection of my friends, I am nv gonna learn…. I wan to fly…. But I fear I will drop….

I tot I like…. But I dunno…. I tot I will leave…. But I cant… I tot I found it…. The feeling issnt strong….

I hate to make decision regarding my own life. I hate to do things alone. I hate to face the com alone.

[[ Put Aside ]]*|11:52 PM|