[[*---You Put Me Aside---*]]

Saturday, December 03, 2005

+listen+

There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words. We try to communicate the idea in other words. We say take care or don't drive too fast?

We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.

Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments, which are expressed insincerely. An impulsive hug says i love you, even though the words might be saying something very different.

We say I love you in many ways - with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even harshly. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness.

Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language.

The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. We hear the words, but we don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. We do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry.

People, talking without speaking; people hearing without listening; people writes songs that voices never shared, because no one dared disturb the sound of silence...

We have to listen for love in those around us. If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realise.

There are many times I tried to listen but external attributes are too overwhelming which make me fail to hear you. I'm sorry. But I will try.

Chao B
After talking to you last night I guess I understand how you felt a little more. Knowing that I'm wrong yet I still persist in doing it. I know how insecure you felt, I know how much you fear to see me leave one day silently (but you say you are prepared, if one day I'm really gone. Hmm! Contradicting!). I just hope you have a little faith in me and believe me. You Know I'm playful and you know I'm just trying to get the most out of my life.

Since the day you step into my life you changed me, Change me slowly into the person I'm now! The ways I look at things change tremendously, my perception towards the same things change too.

You see me differently too, sometime I'm just a simple gal that need protection, that want care and concern, that want all your attention and nothing else and someone that is totally handicap without you.

You say I can never take care of myself always worries you, how I wish you can be there to nag at me and force me to eat and drink.
At time I really wish I had never gone through so much, too much till I appear to be a person I sometime don't even recognise.

Suddenly thought of what you wrote to me 3yrs back:
You say I'm just like cactus -
"You can withstand the most intense heat yet you won't wither. You prick people when you bei song them! Water is stored inside you to provide you with sufficient nutrients to last but for how long?"

Truly speaking I still don't understand. Hahahha Anyway I never regretted being with ya. And I am glad that you actually step into my world.

This part of the entry is too fragmented; I simply type whatever is going through my mind at that moment. There are so much more I want to say but it is hard to say it out explicitly. That's all for now.

[[ Put Aside ]]*|10:54 AM|